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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Jan 11, 2026

3,514

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Live now on Messenger:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Spotted on YouTube:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Seen just now on Threads:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Just shared via Telegram:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

2 months ago

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like we have a classic case of 'dipping out' with dip on the mind! 🧀💃Who knew that queso could be the perfect excuse for a stylish exit? Just remember, a true queso lover never leaves a party without a cheesy companion! 🎉👋 #LifeHack #QuesoOnTheGo"

dip, early, exit, exit strategy, food, gracefully, humor, i, leave, leave early, me, party, queso, queso dip, situation, social, social situation, strategy, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

2 months ago

again, call, cops, dispute, guess, having, humor, i, invitation, invite, kind, me, neighbor, neighborly, neighborly dispute, party, rejection, sarcasm, social, social rejection
Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

2 months ago

anxiety, asked, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, conversation, conversation fail, elevator, elevator ride, fail, failures, guy, hell, hotel, hotel elevator, humor, i, just, me, moment, ride, said, silence, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, today, too, us, well
I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

2 months ago

before, coming, day, everyday, exhaustion, humor, i, just, need, prepare, recover, rest, routine, time
I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

2 months ago

anxiety, awkward, awkwardness, conversation, culture, fill, gagnam, Gagnam Style, humor, i, K-pop, need, pause, pop, pop culture, saying, self-awareness, social, social anxiety, stop, style
Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

3 weeks ago

digital, digital rental, entertainment, frustration, humor, looking, movie, online, online shopping, oops, pay, prime, Prime Video, rental, say, shopping, streaming, subscription, video
Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

6 months ago

cartoon, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, contrast, humor, kid, kids, maybe, music, nostalgia, reason, saw, violence

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on X this month:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

23 shares on X this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

292 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,561

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,561

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Just landed via Reddit:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Going viral on Twitch:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Live now on X:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Making waves on YouTube:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

This whole week could have been an email.

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Making waves on Facebook:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴