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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

458 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,727

Funny Quotes Topics

17,747

Funny Quotes Images

15,727

Jan 14, 2026

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Maybe I’m wrong, but I still don’t think our parents realized how far we rode our bikes in the 80s and 90s.

Spotted on Discord:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Shared recently on Threads:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Making waves on Discord:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Going viral on X:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

2 months ago

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like we have a classic case of 'dipping out' with dip on the mind! 🧀💃Who knew that queso could be the perfect excuse for a stylish exit? Just remember, a true queso lover never leaves a party without a cheesy companion! 🎉👋 #LifeHack #QuesoOnTheGo"

dip, early, exit, exit strategy, food, gracefully, humor, i, leave, leave early, me, party, queso, queso dip, situation, social, social situation, strategy, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

2 months ago

diary, even, going, humor, i, mad, media, post, privacy, reading, social, social media, stuff, things, Twitter
I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

3 months ago

actually, bonding, friendship, fun, humor, introvert, know, me, once, patience, personality, relationship, skills, social, social skills, time
My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

2 months ago

bag, cooking, cooking fail, cutting, fail, food, food struggle, frozen, frozen vegetable, humor, kitchen, kitchen humor, relatable, relatable humor, resealable, resealable bag, struggle, toxic, toxic trait, trait, vegetable, vegetables
You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

3 months ago

anger, emotions, experience, family, humor, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, sister
Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

2 months ago

baby, being, good, humor, joke, just, parenting, pregnant, self-deprecation, stress, too
Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

2 months ago

always, anger, being, buy, daily, daily struggle, eat, hard, humor, lose, loss, relatable, shopping, slap, someone, something, struggle, sweet, sweets, want, weight, weight loss, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

62 shares on Slack this month:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

72 shares on Slack this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Avocado is just green butter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re my least favourite notification.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

458 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,727

Funny Quotes Topics

17,747

Funny Quotes Images

15,727

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Just shared via X:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Going viral on Threads:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Trending via Snapchat:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Trending via X:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴