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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

4 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Going viral on Reddit:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Trending via WeChat:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Seen just now on Discord:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Jan 26, 2025

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it's not like you can leave a voicemail saying, "Sorry, I'm not feeling very productive today." 🙈💦 Just imagine the awkwardness of that phone call – "Hello, yes, I need to cancel my reservation at the sperm bank… No, no reason in particular, I'm just feeling a bit… drained?" 😂 It definitely raises some intriguing logistical questions!

appointment, awkward, awkward moment, bank, call, cancel, funny situation, humor, just, moment, say, situation, someone, sperm, sperm bank

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

4 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Live now on Discord:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Trending via Discord:

About to form my very first opinion.

Spotted on YouTube:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Going viral on Reddit:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Just landed via Threads:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Freshly posted on Threads:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Trending via Facebook:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

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