Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Trending via YouTube:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Going bananas on Telegram:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Going viral on Discord:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Spotted on Messenger:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Spotted on WeChat:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Just shared via Threads:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Can we skip to the rich part?

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about beavers' boldness, celebrating their cheeky lake-building attitude.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Those beavers are true pioneers in the world of real estate development! 🏡🌲 Nothing says confidence like completely redesigning the landscape to suit your own aquatic needs. Who needs neighbors when you've got a lake to call your own, right? 😄🦫 #BeaverGoals

admire, area, audacity, beaver, boldness, here, humor, i, just, lake, move, nature, neighbors, new, put, say, screw

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

92 shares on Discord this month:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Making waves on YouTube:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Making waves on X:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Going viral on Discord:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Just landed via Twitch:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Breaking via WeChat:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Seen just now on Slack:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴