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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Just shared via TikTok:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Making waves on YouTube:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Going viral on X:

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Making waves on Instagram:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Going viral on Telegram:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.
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Commentary:
"Apparently, the influencer's powers only work on the weak-willed 😉. If you're not feeling influenced, perhaps it's time for a self-improvement seminar with the mirror 🪞! Remember, a little self-reflection never hurt anybody… well, except for vampire influencers 🧛‍♂️! #InfluencerWoes"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Live now on Telegram:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Just landed via X:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Making waves on YouTube:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

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