Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has shared:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has downloaded:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has copied:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has downloaded:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

71 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,340

Funny Quotes Topics

17,459

Funny Quotes Images

15,340

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Just shared via Discord:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Spotted on YouTube:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Just shared via Reddit:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Spotted on Reddit:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Making waves on Telegram:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

0
I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, the influencer's powers only work on the weak-willed πŸ˜‰. If you're not feeling influenced, perhaps it's time for a self-improvement seminar with the mirror πŸͺž! Remember, a little self-reflection never hurt anybody… well, except for vampire influencers πŸ§›β€β™‚οΈ! #InfluencerWoes"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🀝

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

84 shares on Messenger this month:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, β€œNo. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I ain’t typing β€œX” into the URL bar, my wife is right behind me.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

71 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,340

Funny Quotes Topics

17,459

Funny Quotes Images

15,340

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has shared:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has viewed:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has copied:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has shared:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on TikTok:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Making waves on WeChat:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Spotted on Discord:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Spotted on Telegram:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Just landed via Twitch:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Going viral on TikTok:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Β© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄