Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the 'I can't remember the last time I went out on New Year's Eve' level of old… You know you're getting up there when your idea of a wild night is falling asleep before midnight! 🎉👴😂"

activity, age, am, celebration, eve, fun, fun activity, humor, i, last, memory, new, new year, nightlife, old, remember, reminiscence, time, year

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87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

50 shares on X this month:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I need a day off from myself.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Making waves on Facebook:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Going viral on Threads:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Shared recently on Discord:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Going viral on Telegram:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Just landed via Threads:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Keep the laugh going 😂

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨