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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has shared:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has copied:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has copied:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has shared:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say β€œguess where I am”. The library?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Facebook:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Just landed via Twitch:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Going bananas on Threads:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Trending via Reddit:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Funny quote about surprising self-discovery after slicing a donut in half.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like someone underestimated the power of a donut! 🍩πŸ’₯ Who knew something so innocent-looking could reveal a whole new side of you? πŸ˜‚ Just remember, donut judge yourself too harshly!

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has viewed:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has shared:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has shared:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Trending via Messenger:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Trending via Instagram:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Making waves on YouTube:

β€œWhat’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Spotted on TikTok:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

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