Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.
  • Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.
  • Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.
  • I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.
  • I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.
  • Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.