Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.
  • Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.
  • Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.
  • I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
  • The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.
  • I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.