Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?
  • Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”
  • Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.
  • I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.
  • If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.
  • You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.