Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Trending via Pinterest:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Just landed via Reddit:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Witty quote about avoiding family meetings, humorously suggesting bringing food to the car.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're hungry and anti-social at the same time 🚗🍽️ Don't worry, I'll pass on the family drama and just stick to eating in peace!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

42 shares on X this month:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Spotted on Discord:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Going viral on Instagram:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Breaking via Telegram:

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

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