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Commentary:
"Sure, I'll get right on that apology… just as soon as I finish apologizing to all the other people I've offended this year! Looks like I'll be busy until at least next year. Sorry about that!"

apologize, bad, bad terms, communication, end, end year, humor, relationship, request, terms, want, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

2 months ago

age, bartender, changes, counter, drinking, humor, i, know, life, life changes, me, name, pharmacist, recognition, walk, younger
I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

1 month ago

account, am, create, create account, frustration, humor, i, online, technology, tyranny, under
Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

1 month ago

burger, Burger King, existence, fast, fast food, feudal, feudal system, food, food joke, humor, joke, king, monarchy, satire, system
Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

5 months ago

apple, autocorrect, communication, ever, hell, humor, i, language, point, someone, text, texting, typo
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

1 month ago

chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task
Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

1 month ago

assassination, best, best day, day, ever, ferdinand, franz, Franz Ferdinand, history, humor, irony, media, meme, shot, social, social media, Twitter

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Spotted on YouTube:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Live now on Facebook:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I miss you (the money I spent).

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

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I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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