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Commentary:
"Who needs to worry about cholesterol when you're speeding past it like a blur on the highway? 🏎️🍔 Life motto: pedal to the metal and burgers on the go! 😄🍔 #LivingFastAndCholesterolFree"

carefree, cholesterol, drive, driving, fast, health, humor, i, irony, lifestyle, risk, speed, worry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, afternoon, ask, bro, day, eat, food, humor, i, lifestyle, me, meal, procrastination
Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

0

2 months ago

comedy, experience, fun, funnier, humor, joke, laugh, punchline, reaction
I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

0

1 month ago

absolutely, anything, communication, except, excuse, friends, friendship, honesty, humor, i, just, know, loyalty, message, need, procrastination, reply, texting
Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

ask, before, breakfast, celebration, day, family, fun, humor, joke, letting, little, longer, morning, mother’s, Mother’s Day, sleep, wake, wife
The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, finance, humor, joke, loan, shark, specy
My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, new, new year, procrastinate, resolution, self-improvement, start, tomorrow, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

52 shares on Discord this month:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

27 shares on Threads this month:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Just shared via X:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Breaking via Facebook:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Trending via Threads:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Trending via Messenger:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Spotted on Telegram:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨