Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Move over, humans! The real MVP in this summer heat is none other than the air conditioner. 🥶🏆 Let's show some appreciation and hang that 'Employee of the Month' plaque with pride! 😂 #ACforPresident"

air, air conditioner, appreciation, award, conditioner, employee, give, humor, i, month, plaque, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

0

2 months ago

activity, beer, concert, entertainment, fun, fun activity, humor, price, show
No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

0

2 months ago

advice, boundary, house, humor, let, matter, move, move in, sad, sad story, story
The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

0

2 months ago

clothing, ever, expensive, expensive clothing, fashion, gown, healthcare, hospital, hospital gown, humor, irony, medical, most, wear
There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

0

3 weeks ago

back, busy, busy schedule, canceled, cancellation, circling, December, happening, humor, meeting, meetings, much, next, procrastination, schedule, too, where, why, work, year
They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

0

2 months ago

aging, crisis, existential, existential humor, expectancy, humor, i, life, life expectancy, mid-life, mid-life crisis, need, time
Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, alien, aubrey, Aubrey Plaza, celebrity, comedy, culture, Earth, famous, humor, leave, observation, plaza, pop, pop culture, study, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Facebook this month:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Making waves on Slack:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Spotted on Reddit:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Just shared via X:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨