Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Looks like someone misplaced their panic button! 🚨 Maybe it's hiding out with your lost keys and missing socks? Don't worry, I'll help you find it… right after we check under the sofa cushions for your sanity! 🛋️😜"

anxiety, confusion, forget, help, humor, i, laughter, panic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

0

4 weeks ago

breath, humor, kiss, love, me, passion, romance, same, save, soul, trying
OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

0

1 month ago

clarity, clear, communication, eyewear, glasses, going, humor, just, ok, put
It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

0

1 month ago

account, attraction, dating, hot, humor, Instagram, man, me, media, poorly, run, social, social media
Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

0

2 months ago

appointment, dental, dentist, humor, joke, late, me, should, start, tell
Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

0

2 months ago

40, activity, age, dating, fun, fun activity, hide, hide and seek, humor, life, loneliness, looking, over, relationships, seek, seeking, single, single life
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

0

2 months ago

always, aspiration, childhood, growing, growing up, humor, i, lesson, life, life lesson, realization, someone, specific, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

40 shares on X this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

50 shares on Telegram this month:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

63 shares on Threads this month:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Broadcasted on X:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Just shared via Snapchat:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Live now on YouTube:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Seen just now on Instagram:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Just landed via X:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨