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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Trending via Twitch:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Just shared via X:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Spotted on Snapchat:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Live now on YouTube:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Trending via Telegram:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about forgetting meds and jokingly joining squirrels for political debates.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's ready for a squirrelly debate up in the treetops! 🐿️🌳 Who needs meds when you've got political discourse with the furry critters? Maybe they can help come up with some nutty solutions! 😂 #SquirrelPoliticians"

conversation, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, looking, meds, nature, politics, squirrels, take, talk, tree, whimsy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on TikTok this month:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

34 shares on WeChat this month:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

86 shares on X this month:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

73 shares on Messenger this month:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

63 shares on X this month:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Going viral on Messenger:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Just landed via WeChat:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Going viral on YouTube:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Making waves on TikTok:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Making waves on Facebook:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Trending via Threads:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

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