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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,764

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Seen just now on X:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Trending via Messenger:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Going viral on X:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Spotted on Slack:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

2 months ago

0

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's ready for a squirrelly debate up in the treetops! 🐿️🌳 Who needs meds when you've got political discourse with the furry critters? Maybe they can help come up with some nutty solutions! 😂 #SquirrelPoliticians"

conversation, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, looking, meds, nature, politics, squirrels, take, talk, tree, whimsy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

0

2 months ago

dating, delete, humor, me, media, online, online dating, post, posts, rejection, relationship, social, social media, soulmate
Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, combo, contact, dating, deadly, deadly combo, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, social, social interaction
The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

0

2 months ago

best, best part, chat, communication, friendship, getting, group, group chat, humor, later, leaving, media, online, online communication, social, social media, weeks
I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

0

2 weeks ago

2006, available, date, even, humor, i, new, new year, nostalgia, sarcasm, take, time, used, want, year
If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

0

2 months ago

am, exclaiming, expression, good, greeting, horror, humor, i, mean, morning, sarcasm, say
The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

0

2 months ago

body, body count, consequences, count, humor, people, real, relationships, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Threads this month:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

38 shares on Slack this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

15 shares on Threads this month:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,828

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Spotted on Facebook:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Making waves on Slack:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Live now on Pinterest:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Spotted on YouTube:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

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