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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Seen just now on Telegram:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Just shared via Twitch:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Going viral on X:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Trending via Facebook:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Just shared via Messenger:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Just shared via Reddit:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Trending via Snapchat:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Spotted on Facebook:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the rollercoaster of emotions during a divorce – from the depths of despair to the heights of ecstasy! 😅🎢 It's like we're skipping through the stages of grief on fast forward! Remember, it's all about balance…and maybe a sprinkle of therapy. 😉 #DivorceDrama"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

51 shares on X this month:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

76 shares on Discord this month:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

90 shares on Threads this month:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

70 shares on X this month:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting to think business is standing on me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Just shared via Threads:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Live now on TikTok:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Making waves on WeChat:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Making waves on Instagram:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

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