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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Spotted on WeChat:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Trending via Messenger:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Freshly posted on Slack:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about overcoming divorce with humor and a touch of crazy joy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the rollercoaster of emotions during a divorce – from the depths of despair to the heights of ecstasy! 😅🎢 It's like we're skipping through the stages of grief on fast forward! Remember, it's all about balance…and maybe a sprinkle of therapy. 😉 #DivorceDrama"

coping, crazy, divorce, emotions, fine, hard, humor, i, joy, recovery, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Going bananas on Messenger:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Just landed via Discord:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Seen just now on Discord:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Making waves on X:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Breaking via YouTube:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

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