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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Spotted on X:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Trending via YouTube:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Shared recently on YouTube:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Just shared via YouTube:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Going viral on Slack:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about overcoming divorce with humor and a touch of crazy joy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the rollercoaster of emotions during a divorce – from the depths of despair to the heights of ecstasy! 😅🎢 It's like we're skipping through the stages of grief on fast forward! Remember, it's all about balance…and maybe a sprinkle of therapy. 😉 #DivorceDrama"

coping, crazy, divorce, emotions, fine, hard, humor, i, joy, recovery, time

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I disagree with my politics.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Seen just now on Threads:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Going viral on X:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Trending via Messenger:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Just shared via Discord:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

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