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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Making waves on X:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Just shared via Facebook:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Going viral on WeChat:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Going bananas on X:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

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I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.
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Commentary:
"Mastering the art of the poker face: when you bluff your way through confusion like a pro 🃏😳 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

35 shares on X this month:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can resist everything except temptation.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,430

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Trending via Instagram:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Trending via Telegram:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Just landed via Twitch:

I had too much to think last night.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

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