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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Seen just now on Slack:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Seen just now on Threads:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Live now on TikTok:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Just landed via Messenger:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Live now on Twitch:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about having a clueless poker face, humorously highlighting confusion.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Mastering the art of the poker face: when you bluff your way through confusion like a pro 🃏😳 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"

confusion, expression, face, game, going, great, humor, i, idea, poker

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

1 week ago

absurdity, expectation, frustration, humor, irony, Like, need, spoon, spoons, ten
Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

2 weeks ago

drama, education, humor, irony, learning, life, read, reading, struggle
The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

2 weeks ago

alone, calm, crowd, inner, inner peace, interaction, peace, people, quiet, social, social interaction, solitude
“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

2 weeks ago

anyone, anywhere, avoiding, avoiding people, distancing, eyes, great, home, humor, i, introvert, money, open, people, saving, saving money, social, social distancing, staying, staying home
Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, career, day, health, hitting, hour, hours, mental, mental health, random, random hour, stress, work, work worry, worry
I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

2 weeks ago

childhood, delivery, egging, food, food delivery, house, humor, i, life, rural, rural life, small, small town, someone, thing, town

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

32 shares on Discord this month:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Just landed via TikTok:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Trending via TikTok:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Seen just now on X:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Just shared via TikTok:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨