Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.
  • My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.
  • Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.
  • If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.
  • Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.
  • I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.