Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Just shared via Threads:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Seen just now on X:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Making waves on WeChat:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Breaking via Reddit:

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Breaking via Messenger:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Making waves on Twitch:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the eternal optimist! 🌟 Living forever, one day at a time… and still going strong! 💪😂 #ImmortalGoals"

forever, good, humor, i, intention, joke, life, live, optimism

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

0

2 months ago

arguing, humor, kids, little, normalize, parenting, rude
If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

0

6 months ago

back, humor, i, ID, karma, revenge, watch, witty
I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

0

2 months ago

anger, call, communication, days, end, frustration, i, miss, nostalgia, phone, phone call, receiver, slam, technology
I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

0

5 months ago

admire, awkward, awkward tan line, forever, heal, healing, humor, i, line, lines, patience, skin, summer, tan, tan line, time, wound, wounds
Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

0

2 months ago

am, auto-reply, break, day, email, emails, forwarding, good, humor, i, message, nowhere, office, out of office, read, unread, vacation, work, work break
If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

0

2 months ago

cause, confusion, cousin, family, gatherings, humor, interaction, lot, parents, party, partying, relationship, sibling, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Reddit this month:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

65 shares on Discord this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

100 shares on X this month:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Just landed via X:

The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Making waves on YouTube:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Seen just now on Messenger:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Just landed via Reddit:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨