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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Spotted on TikTok:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Just landed via Threads:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Trending via Twitch:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Seen just now on X:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Trending via Reddit:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

0
I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Because who wouldn't want to be irresistible, crispy, and always in high demand like a hot little French fry 🍟? Just remember, you're not just any fry, you're the extra crispy, perfectly seasoned one in the bunch – fries before guys, am I right? 😉"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

43 shares on X this month:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Just shared via Messenger:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Trending via Twitch:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Live now on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Making waves on Reddit:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Breaking via Facebook:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Trending via Instagram:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Making waves on Pinterest:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

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