I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

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My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.