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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,465

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My life is based on a true story.

Freshly posted on X:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Spotted on Twitch:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Trending via Instagram:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Making waves on Twitch:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Seen just now on Slack:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Just shared via X:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Just landed via Reddit:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

0
I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Because who wouldn't want to be irresistible, crispy, and always in high demand like a hot little French fry 🍟? Just remember, you're not just any fry, you're the extra crispy, perfectly seasoned one in the bunch – fries before guys, am I right? 😉"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

20 shares on X this month:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Spotted on Twitch:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Making waves on Instagram:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Going viral on Facebook:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Trending via X:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Breaking via Reddit:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Going bananas on Threads:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Just landed via Telegram:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

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