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Commentary:
"Who knew the Tooth Fairy was such a clever entrepreneur, outsourcing those tooth-collecting duties like a true boss 💼✨ Parental tooth-fairy assistants, reporting for duty! 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #ToothFairyInc"

business, business savvy, childhood, fairy, humor, i, job, outsourcing, parents, savvy, tooth, Tooth Fairy

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22 shares on Slack this month:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

91 shares on X this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

78 shares on Slack this month:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Shared recently on X:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Spotted on TikTok:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Spotted on Facebook:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Just shared via Instagram:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

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Activity Log ✨

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

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