I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Trendy Funny Quotes

  • When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.
  • You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.
  • Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.
  • Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.
  • “Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.
  • My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.