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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Just landed via Slack:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Shared recently on Slack:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Breaking via Twitch:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Live now on Pinterest:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Just shared via Discord:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a knight in shining armor when you have the pizza delivery guy on speed dial? 🍕🚀 #PizzaIsBae"

delivery, food, guy, humor, i, never, pizza, priorities, sit, waiting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

0

2 months ago

arrangement, best, dog, dogs, family, five, friend, friends, humor, lifestyle, literally, living, living arrangement, mansion, marriage, married, normalize, rule, start, ten
Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

0

2 months ago

country, country music, crying, emotional, emotional expression, expression, genre, help, humor, little, men, music, music genre, need, sadness
Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, day, humor, introvert, irony, leave, me, peace, self-care, today, wonderful
Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, before, drama, humor, idea, me, mood, mood swing, period, relationship, sarcasm, swing, terrible, warning, week, woman
Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

0

2 months ago

being, fish, fishing, food, guy, humor, hunger, hungry, imagine, irony, lesson, needs, survival, teach
I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

0

2 months ago

age, check, confusion, daily, daily life, forgetfulness, glasses, humor, i, life, memory, pills, put, remember, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Telegram this month:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Live now on Telegram:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Trending via Messenger:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Just shared via Discord:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨