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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Trending via WeChat:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Going viral on X:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Going viral on Reddit:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Shared recently on Slack:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Breaking via X:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Making waves on Facebook:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who says you can't buy yourself some clever problem-solving skills? 😂☔️ #EfficiencyGoals"

Amazon, convenience, delivery, efficiency, found, humor, i, lost, lost and found, new, office, straight, umbrella

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioning, back, comfort, conditioning, favorite, heat, humor, i, indoors, inside, sarcasm, summer, where
I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

0

4 months ago

airport, humor, i, late, lateness, lot, places, punctuality, travel
Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

0

2 months ago

before, brag, comfort, enough, financial, financial security, humor, i, irony, live, living, me, money, new, new year, planning, rest, security, week, year
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

0

2 months ago

afford, bill, color, different, expense, finance, humor, i, irony, pay, same, sarcasm, well
Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

0

2 months ago

geometry, humor, just, math, mean, prove, scam, triangle
The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

0

2 months ago

end, headlight, humor, irony, life, light, motivation, oncoming, perspective, reality, train, tunnel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

74 shares on Slack this month:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

70 shares on X this month:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

88 shares on X this month:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Spotted on WeChat:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Going bananas on Slack:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Making waves on WeChat:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Live now on Facebook:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Breaking via YouTube:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Going viral on Reddit:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Spotted on Twitch:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Making waves on Threads:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨