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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Going viral on X:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Just landed via YouTube:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Making waves on Reddit:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Live now on YouTube:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Breaking via Slack:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

2 months ago

0

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Apparently, mornings and conversation are like oil and water for this person! 🌅🗣️ Maybe they just need a little more ☕ before diving into chatter. Or perhaps a friendly 🤫 sign on their forehead could do the trick! 😆 #NotAMorningPerson"

communication, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, mornings, need, people, social, social interaction, speak, speaking, stop, thinking, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

0

2 months ago

911, forced, funny situation, hello, humor, me, meet, meeting, neighbors, over, situation, walk, wife, yes
When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, cat, child, desire, expectations, humor, irony, life, life stages, stages, teenager, want
Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

0

2 months ago

block, delete, email, every, fire, frustration, humor, junk, know, laptop, outlook, rule, sender
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

0

2 months ago

9, around, estimate, going, home, humor, i, job, jobs, money, night, plan, quit, relationship, run, tonight, travel, well, wife
Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, i, lord, me, mouth, office, oh, prayers, sarcasm, sass, today, work
Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

0

3 days ago

future, future love, humor, introvert, living, living room, love, meant, relationship, room, simply, single, teleport

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

58 shares on Messenger this month:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

57 shares on Threads this month:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Seen just now on Discord:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Live now on Twitch:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Just landed via Messenger:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Going bananas on Slack:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

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