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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Jan 5, 2026

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Live now on Threads:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Going viral on WeChat:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Just shared via Messenger:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Spotted on Twitch:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Going viral on YouTube:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

2 months ago

0

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I say "long story short," what I really mean is "grab some popcorn, get cozy, and let me unleash the extended director's cut version of this tale." 🎬✨ Who needs bonus features when you've got my storytelling skills on full display?😄

bonus, bonus features, brevity, communication, features, humor, i, irony, punchline, say, short, story, storytelling, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

0

2 months ago

asleep, cycle, fall, fall asleep, humor, i, insomnia, issues, morning, night, sleep, sleep issues, sleeping, sleeping cycle, sleepy
A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

0

4 months ago

conversation, humor, interaction, interview, job, job interview, liar, social, social interaction, workplace
Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

0

2 months ago

aroma, beans, breath, coffee, contradiction, good, humor, smell, taste
Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

0

2 months ago

cultural, cultural reference, every, fiancée, funny moment, humor, moment, movie, movie reference, Olympics, Paris, Ratatouille, reference, relationship, ruining, saying, time, where
Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

0

2 months ago

activity, computer, dating, fine, humor, irony, relationship, technology
My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, comments, emoji, every, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, flame, girl, humor, i, jealousy, keep, mad, me, pictures, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on X this month:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

53 shares on Reddit this month:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Freshly posted on X:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Trending via Twitch:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Just shared via Reddit:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Making waves on TikTok:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Just landed via Twitch:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

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