Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.
  • Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.
  • I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.
  • Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.
  • I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.
  • My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.