Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.
  • Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.
  • I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.
  • I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.
  • I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.
  • No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.