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Commentary:
"Teaching valuable life lessons one rigged movie night at a time! 🍕🎥💸 Who says democracy can't be deliciously cheesy and entertaining? 😄 #Parenting101"

activity, democracy, fun, fun activity, humor, kid, kids, money, movie, parenting, pizza, vote

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86 shares on Facebook this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

17 shares on Discord this month:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

30 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Just landed via Reddit:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Seen just now on Slack:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Spotted on Reddit:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Just shared via Slack:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Making waves on Telegram:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Just shared via WeChat:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

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Activity Log ✨

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Keep the laugh going 😂

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Kids these days are soft. I’m pretty sure I died once when I was 7, and my mom made me walk it off.

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

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