Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

“She’s so self-centered.” Who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2476 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,638

Funny Quotes Topics

15,321

Funny Quotes Images

12,638

2 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Just landed via YouTube:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Spotted on X:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Seen just now on Slack:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Making waves on YouTube:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Jan 26, 2025

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the classic case of tab hoarding – a survival strategy in the digital age! 🦸‍♂️ Who knew that an overload of Chrome tabs could be essential for our very existence? 🚀 With 200 tabs full of crucial data, you might just hold the key to knowledge that could save the world! 🌎💻 Now, that's what we call multitasking to the extreme! 🤯 #TabTales

Chrome, clean, cleaning, contain, humor, i, information, organization, procrastination, survival, tabs, technology, tried

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2476 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,638

Funny Quotes Topics

15,321

Funny Quotes Images

12,638

2 minutes ago

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Breaking via Reddit:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Going viral on Discord:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Just landed via TikTok:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Spotted on X:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Trending via WeChat:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴