Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

1 minute ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Making waves on Instagram:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Spotted on Instagram:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Breaking via WeChat:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

6 months ago

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, Savage Garden – the masters of blending romance with questionable mountain etiquette! 🏔️💔 Who knew love could involve such adventurous aquatic activities? 😂 Let's hope 'standing on a mountain' with someone doesn't lead to a one-way ticket to the sea! 🌊 #SavageGardenShenanigans"

activity, garden, humor, i, love, mountain, relationship, savage, Savage Garden, sea, stand, throw, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

1 minute ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Making waves on Slack:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Going viral on YouTube:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Making waves on WeChat:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴