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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has copied:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has copied:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

When I say β€œI hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,282

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Threads:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Just shared via YouTube:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I started calling the new guy at work β€œGrok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Just shared via Telegram:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Spotted on Twitch:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Breaking via Messenger:

My dad called my philosophy degree a β€œlicense for unemployment.”

Making waves on Messenger:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

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I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.
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Commentary:
"Ah, Savage Garden – the masters of blending romance with questionable mountain etiquette! πŸ”οΈπŸ’” Who knew love could involve such adventurous aquatic activities? πŸ˜‚ Let's hope 'standing on a mountain' with someone doesn't lead to a one-way ticket to the sea! 🌊 #SavageGardenShenanigans"

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Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on X this month:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I would really like to meet this β€œother candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Trending Topics πŸ“

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Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m running out of people I like.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has shared:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has copied:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has copied:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has shared:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has viewed:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via TikTok:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Spotted on YouTube:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Breaking via X:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Spotted on TikTok:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Spotted on Threads:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Just landed via X:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

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