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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

17 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Reported on WeChat:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Spotted on Telegram:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Just landed via Pinterest:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Trending via Instagram:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

6 months ago

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

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Commentary:
"Ah, Savage Garden – the masters of blending romance with questionable mountain etiquette! 🏔️💔 Who knew love could involve such adventurous aquatic activities? 😂 Let's hope 'standing on a mountain' with someone doesn't lead to a one-way ticket to the sea! 🌊 #SavageGardenShenanigans"

activity, garden, humor, i, love, mountain, relationship, savage, Savage Garden, sea, stand, throw, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

17 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Just landed via Telegram:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Just landed via Reddit:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Trending via TikTok:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Reported on TikTok:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

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