Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?
  • I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.
  • Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.
  • I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.
  • Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.
  • When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.