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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Just landed via Facebook:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Making waves on Messenger:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Shared recently on WeChat:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Making waves on Facebook:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Going viral on Slack:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Trending via Slack:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about dramatic love gestures with a humorous twist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, Savage Garden – the masters of blending romance with questionable mountain etiquette! 🏔️💔 Who knew love could involve such adventurous aquatic activities? 😂 Let's hope 'standing on a mountain' with someone doesn't lead to a one-way ticket to the sea! 🌊 #SavageGardenShenanigans"

activity, garden, humor, i, love, mountain, relationship, savage, Savage Garden, sea, stand, throw, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

70 shares on X this month:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

17 shares on Slack this month:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I am half agony, half hope.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Spotted on Reddit:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Just shared via Reddit:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Just shared via YouTube:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

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