Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?
  • Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.
  • Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
  • I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”
  • Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.
  • The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.