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Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Just landed via Twitch:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Breaking via Messenger:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Just landed via Slack:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

I wish more dumb people were shy.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about wishing less outspoken people were shy, with a humorous, playful vibe.

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Commentary:
"Imagine a world where mute buttons were installed on those 'Foot-in-mouth' moments… 🤐😂 #ShyIsTheNewSmart"

dumb, i, people, shy, wish

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59 shares on Messenger this month:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

96 shares on Slack this month:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

63 shares on X this month:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Trending via Snapchat:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Just landed via Messenger:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Breaking via Slack:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Breaking via Instagram:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Shared recently on X:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Just shared via Slack:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Spotted on Reddit:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

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Activity Log ✨

I wish more dumb people were shy.

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

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Activity Log ✨

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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