Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,257

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Live now on Slack:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Going viral on Facebook:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Seen just now on X:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Trending via WeChat:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Spotted on X:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Seen just now on Twitch:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about wishing doctors provided treats like vets do for pets.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine going to the doctor's office and finding a trail of treats leading to the examination room! 🐾 Who says bribing with snacks only works on pets? 🍖😂 Maybe we should start a 'treats-for-patients' movement! 🏥 #DoctorVsVet"

animals, animals vs humans, comparison, distraction, doctor, dog, healthcare, humans, humor, i, little, me, put, treat, vet, vs, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Slack this month:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

60 shares on Threads this month:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

54 shares on Discord this month:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

96 shares on X this month:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Been getting really into nothing.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What are cats even trying to do?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

If I was a stray cat, I’d follow you home and let you domesticate me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Spotted on X:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Going viral on Discord:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Just landed via Discord:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

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