Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.
  • My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.
  • I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.
  • I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.
  • Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.
  • Accidentally manifested an emotionally intelligent man that is hot and can cook. We’re currently staring at each other.