Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.
  • I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.
  • I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.
  • All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.
  • When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.
  • I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.