Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,860

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Making waves on Discord:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Spotted on Reddit:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Just shared via Threads:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Going viral on TikTok:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Broadcasted on Threads:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

1 month ago

0

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the untamed might of a toddler with a sippy cup in hand – a force to be reckoned with! If only we could channel that same level of confidence and determination in our adult lives, imagine the chaos we could cause (or prevent)! Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility – and probably a lot of spilled juice.

chair, chaos, childhood, cup, high, high chair, humor, independence, just, parenting, power, sippy, sippy cup, throwing, toddler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

0

2 months ago

answer, enemy, humor, life, never, outlive, resilience, struggle, suicide
I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

0

2 months ago

always, bad, bad connection, board, board game, card, card game, connection, explain, explanation, game, head, humor, i, me, misunderstanding, someone
That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

0

1 month ago

cinema, comedy, film, films, frustration, humor, hurt, myself, others, subtitles, sync, urge
I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

0

1 month ago

animals, concern, cute, humor, i, myself, opinion, opinions, sarcasm, satire, sheep
Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

0

1 month ago

crazy, harry, Harry Potter, high, high school, i, never, potter, school, sort, war
Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

0

3 months ago

5th, 5th base, base, dating, describe, flirting, humor, i, kiss, me, only, romance, someone, tongue, tongue kiss

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Facebook this month:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

76 shares on Slack this month:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

43 shares on Slack this month:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

65 shares on X this month:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,766

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Going viral on Threads:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Trending via Pinterest:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Just landed via YouTube:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Trending via WeChat:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

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