Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”
  • Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.
  • I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.
  • Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.
  • My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.
  • “Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.