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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Trending via Discord:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Breaking via Slack:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Spotted on Threads:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Trending via WhatsApp:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Spotted on Reddit:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

6 days ago

Humorous quote about craving toddler-level confidence and power during a playful tantrum.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the untamed might of a toddler with a sippy cup in hand – a force to be reckoned with! If only we could channel that same level of confidence and determination in our adult lives, imagine the chaos we could cause (or prevent)! Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility – and probably a lot of spilled juice.

chair, chaos, childhood, cup, high, high chair, humor, independence, just, parenting, power, sippy, sippy cup, throwing, toddler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Going viral on TikTok:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Trending via Messenger:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Just landed via TikTok:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Making waves on Twitch:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

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