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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

7 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Reported on LinkedIn:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Live now on Snapchat:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Spotted on Messenger:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Trending via Reddit:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Going viral on Slack:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

4 months ago

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the untamed might of a toddler with a sippy cup in hand – a force to be reckoned with! If only we could channel that same level of confidence and determination in our adult lives, imagine the chaos we could cause (or prevent)! Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility – and probably a lot of spilled juice.

chair, chaos, childhood, cup, high, high chair, humor, independence, just, parenting, power, sippy, sippy cup, throwing, toddler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

7 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Live now on TikTok:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Going viral on Discord:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Trending via Threads:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Just landed via Telegram:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

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