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Commentary:
"I guess you could say handling an avocado pit isn't exactly a seamless process, let alone delivering a baby! 🥑👶 Who knew that one slippery pit could be the ultimate preparation for the miracle of life? 😅 #AvocadoSkills"

avocado, baby, childbirth, clumsiness, comfort, comfortable, delivery, dropping, even, humor, i, never, pit, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

2 months ago

again, humor, i, mammal, nature, over, planet, reptile, take, take over, takeover, think, time
Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

1 month ago

drink, fun, humor, joy, laughter, reason, someone, spit, surprise, today
If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

5 months ago

evil, humor, joke, math, number, pun, root
Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

1 month ago

busy, daylight, humor, procrastination, saving, saving daylight, time, too
I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

1 month ago

anger, annoyance, breathing, daily, daily routine, frustration, got, hate, humor, i, know, list, lot, mad, me, routine, sarcasm, sigh, someone, something, yesterday
Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

2 months ago

boss, boundary, communication, humor, i, office, rejection, responsibility, tell, want, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

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I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

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Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

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I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

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Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

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I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

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Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

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Is Mercury in reggaeton?

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The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

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I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

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I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

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I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

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