Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Just landed via Discord:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Live now on Twitch:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Just landed via Telegram:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Spotted on X:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Spotted on Threads:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"I guess you could say handling an avocado pit isn't exactly a seamless process, let alone delivering a baby! 🥑👶 Who knew that one slippery pit could be the ultimate preparation for the miracle of life? 😅 #AvocadoSkills"

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What no one ever considers is that the kids are pretending to believe in Santa for the sake of the parents.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

26 shares on X this month:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Just shared via Telegram:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Just landed via Facebook:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Making waves on Twitch:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Just shared via X:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴