Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.
  • I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?
  • My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.
  • If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.
  • If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.
  • All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.