Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Just shared via Twitch:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Shared recently on X:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Live now on Discord:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Trending via Reddit:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

2 months ago

0

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Imagine being haunted by your own ghostly reminder to drink water 💧! That's some next-level self-care even in the afterlife 👻. College me could definitely use a spectral nudge towards hydration…and maybe a few less all-nighters too! 😂 #GhostGoals"

advice, back, college, ever, ghost, haunt, humor, hydrate, i, me, self-reflection, tell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, aging, club, hardware, hardware store, humor, i, lifestyle, preference, social, social activity, store, where
The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

0

2 months ago

2, acting, alcohol, allowed, drink, drinks, humor, i, island, just, limitation, love, Love Island, night, only, over, reality, reality show, sarcasm, show, thing
Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, idea, just, laziness, lazy, no idea, procrastination, say, simplicity, think, thinking, too
Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

0

6 months ago

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology
Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

0

2 months ago

awareness, diarrhea, health, humor, joke, runs, Sunday, today, week
When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

0

2 months ago

age, Boomers, brain, brain damage, children, Covid, damage, damaged, explain, fate, lead, much, old, old age, opinions

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,716

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Live now on Slack:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Going viral on Reddit:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Going bananas on YouTube:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Going bananas on X:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Making waves on Threads:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Breaking via Snapchat:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Making waves on Telegram:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴