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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2076 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,238

Funny Quotes Topics

14,982

Funny Quotes Images

12,238

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Trending via Instagram:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Trending via YouTube:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Spotted on Telegram:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Shared recently on Threads:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Earthquake? More like Godzilla making a grand entrance, am I right? 🦖🌍 Hold onto your popcorn, folks! 😂 #GodzillaVsEarthquake"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2076 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,238

Funny Quotes Topics

14,982

Funny Quotes Images

12,238

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Making waves on Facebook:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Live now on Messenger:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Just landed via YouTube:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Going viral on Pinterest:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Making waves on Threads:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

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