If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Commentary:
"If I vanish into thin air, just slap my face on some wine bottles 🍷 My friends will be more inclined to go searching in the vineyards than in the dairy aisle! Who needs a missing persons alert when you have a grape escape plan 😉 #WineNotFindMe"