Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,937

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Going viral on Telegram:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Going bananas on Threads:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Spotted on Instagram:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Going bananas on X:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Breaking via Messenger:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Keeping friends close and enemies at arm's length, just in case you need a good head squishing mime act! 🤏👤😂#SquishSquadGoals"

close, distance, forefinger, friendship, head, humor, i, keep, mime, preference, relationships, squishing, thumb

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

0

2 months ago

amazing, animal, dog, effort, food, humor, pet, plate, view
Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, came, casual, casual activity, confidence, everything, humor, i, just, right, self-assurance, walk
“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

0

2 months ago

banter, communication, email, feel, free, humor, ignore, sarcasm, workplace
My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, blunder, bottle, co-worker, coworker, humor, i, irritation, miscommunication, office, office humor, over, personal, personal space, prank, situation, space
I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

0

2 months ago

always, darth, Darth Vader, ever, everywhere, hell, hero, humor, i, just, run, running, saunter, seen, sprint, style, vader, villain, walking, walking style
It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

0

2 months ago

bear, car, car trouble, cold, freezing, humor, outside, polar, polar bear, start, trouble, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Being awake is the worst.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

21 shares on X this month:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Broadcasted on X:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Making waves on Twitch:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Just landed via Facebook:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Breaking via Reddit:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Just shared via WeChat:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Making waves on Messenger:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨