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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Just landed via WeChat:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Just landed via YouTube:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Trending via Snapchat:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Witty quote about a pet's clever suspicion of being photographed excessively.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶 "When your dog catches you being a sleep paparazzi, it's time to lawyer up! 😂 Who knew that sleepy faces could be so incriminating? Someone's definitely on the naughty list now!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Earth is hard.

44 shares on X this month:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Going viral on WeChat:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Just landed via Discord:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Going viral on TikTok:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Body by sandwich.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Spotted on WeChat:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Making waves on TikTok:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Trending via WeChat:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

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