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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Making waves on X:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Trending via Discord:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Shared recently on X:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Breaking via Instagram:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Just landed via Telegram:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

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If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.
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Commentary:
🐶 "When your dog catches you being a sleep paparazzi, it's time to lawyer up! 😂 Who knew that sleepy faces could be so incriminating? Someone's definitely on the naughty list now!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

90 shares on X this month:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,801

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Spotted on Facebook:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Going viral on Instagram:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Shared recently on Slack:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Making waves on Telegram:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

In banana years, I am bread.

Trending via Twitch:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Trending via Telegram:

The future is buffering.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Going viral on Slack:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

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