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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Going viral on Discord:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Breaking via Threads:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

2 weeks ago

Playful text imagining Shakespeare as a modern rapper, humorous and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎭📜 If the Bard of Avon were born today, he'd probably be tweeting under the handle "Shaxxespyr"! 🤣 Maybe he'd even drop some hip-hop sonnets or write plays in emojis! 🎭📱 To be or not to be, that is the hashtag dilemma! #ShakespeareanTechUpgrade

being, born, culture, humor, literature, modern, name, reference, Shakespeare, today, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Discord this month:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Live now on TikTok:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Going viral on X:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Making waves on Slack:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Shared recently on Discord:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

Spotted on Reddit:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Trending via Slack:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

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