Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has downloaded:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,258

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on YouTube:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Just shared via Instagram:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Freshly posted on Slack:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Going viral on Telegram:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Just landed via Reddit:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Just shared via Twitch:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say β€œwhat’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Just shared via Slack:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Spotted on YouTube:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

0
If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew Monday was up for sale? πŸ˜‚ Let's gather our funds and bid adieu to that troublesome day! πŸ’ΈπŸ”¨ #MondayNoMore"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🀝

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on TikTok this month:

In hell, you wait for a β€˜verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

47 shares on X this month:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I am not in a good place, geographically.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You should be able to call in sad to work.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has shared:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has copied:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has copied:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has copied:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has downloaded:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Going viral on TikTok:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Trending via Discord:

β€œI’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Just shared via YouTube:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Making waves on Threads:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Live now on X:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Β© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄