Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My middle finger salutes you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Going viral on Reddit:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Shared recently on YouTube:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Seen just now on Threads:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Trending via Discord:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew Monday was up for sale? 😂 Let's gather our funds and bid adieu to that troublesome day! 💸🔨 #MondayNoMore"

buy, club, destroy, enough, fundraising, humor, Monday, money, raise, together, weekend, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

0

2 months ago

agree, big, deal, humble, humor, interaction, irony, modesty, no big deal, say, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, try
It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

0

2 months ago

brain, brains, cognition, forgetfulness, funny observation, humor, irony, memory, observation, remember, something
I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

0

5 months ago

alone, brain, contradiction, emotion, heart, humor, i, loneliness, love, loved, wants
She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

0

2 months ago

cart, grocery, rare, shopping, shopping cart, wheel, wobbly, wobbly wheel
Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

0

3 months ago

behavior, car, driver, driving, ever, extra, extra life, game, got, humor, life, risky, risky behavior, road, road trip, someone, trip, video, video game
A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

0

1 month ago

1980s, 3, advice, ancient, ancient scrolls, communication, dating, dating advice, days, exactly, guy, humor, me, scrolls, studying, text, texting, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on X this month:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Making waves on Instagram:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Seen just now on Reddit:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Spotted on TikTok:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Spotted on TikTok:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When you try to be humble and say it’s no big deal and they agree with you.

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨