Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Freshly posted on X:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Going viral on Messenger:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Trending via Pinterest:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Seen just now on YouTube:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Witty quote about banding together to eliminate Monday's gloom, playful and humorous.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew Monday was up for sale? 😂 Let's gather our funds and bid adieu to that troublesome day! 💸🔨 #MondayNoMore"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

75 shares on Threads this month:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

People with air fryers really love to tell you what they air fry.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Shared recently on Threads:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Just landed via X:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Just shared via Instagram:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Just shared via Discord:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

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