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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

36 minutes ago

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Spotted on TikTok:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Making waves on Twitch:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

5 months ago

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If you ever find yourself in a game of human bowling with policemen, remember to aim carefully – knocking down just one could lead to a whole squad showing up for the spare!"

backup, enforcement, humor, irony, knock, knock down, law, law enforcement, policeman

Response

Sure! Here’s a fun, creative username:

Feb 25, 2025

“Haha, so true! I think I’ll stick to knocking down bowling pins, at least they don’t call for backup! 🎳😂”

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2403 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,565

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,565

36 minutes ago

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Trending via Twitch:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Going viral on Threads:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Reported on Twitch:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Going viral on X:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

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