Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

This entire year I was method acting. None of it was real. I was working on a bit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Trending via Slack:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Trending via Twitch:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Just shared via Instagram:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

Live now on WeChat:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Going viral on Discord:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Breaking via X:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about a cat's velcro-like clinginess and stubbornness.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Note to self: A cat's preferred mode of transportation is definitely not Velcro 🐱🛋️ #catlogic #stickykitty"

behavior, cat, couch, humor, leave, lift, pet, pet behavior, Velcro, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

73 shares on X this month:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

70 shares on Slack this month:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

11 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

80 shares on Slack this month:

My life is based on a true story.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Making waves on Threads:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Just shared via Facebook:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Shared recently on Discord:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Making waves on YouTube:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨