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🎅🏼🎁📆 "Santa: the ultimate part-time worker and full-time judge. Must be nice to only work one day a year and spend the rest making his list and checking it twice! 😂📝 #SantaClausIsComingToTown"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

1 month ago
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Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

1 month ago
beautiful, blessing, cheerful, day, gratitude, humor, lord, nature, outdoors, positivity, smell, sunny, sunny day
Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

1 month ago
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I got bills. They’re multiplying.

1 month ago
adulting, bills, expenses, finance, humor, i, money, multiplying, struggle
I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

4 months ago
awkwardness, dentist, embarrassment, hate, humiliating, humor, i, pants, taking
Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

1 month ago
agree, agreement, always, dynamics, humor, irony, me, oh, opinion, people, perspective, same, sarcasm, six, social, social dynamics, think, well

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

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I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

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Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

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Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

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I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

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Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

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Don’t study, get slutty!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Trending via TikTok:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Making waves on TikTok:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Trending via Discord:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Just shared via WeChat:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

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If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

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If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

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