Trendy Funny Quotes

  • In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.
  • If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.
  • I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.
  • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
  • You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.
  • I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.