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Commentary:
"Who needs a bedtime story when you have the magical cure-all for dehydration? 🚰💤 Just a parent's clever way of ensuring hydration levels stay afloat! Cheers to bedtime, the universal solution for everything! 🌙😂"

advice, bedtime, drinking, humor, hydration, kids, parenting, tell, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

2 months ago
entitlement, fine, humor, love, me, opinion, opinions, rejection, relationship, silly, stupid, want, wrong
There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

1 month ago
duality, humor, inner, inner struggle, inside, joke, landlord, me, struggle, tell, wolf
Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

1 month ago
commentary, criticism, enough, feedback, honesty, loser, losers, people, self-awareness, social, social commentary, telling, too, truth
“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

1 month ago
ears, humor, music, reaction, turn, turn down
Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

2 months ago
coworker, hit, humor, i, just, office, reminder, rules, stupid, workplace
If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

1 month ago
asked, bigger, boat, humor, i, Jaws, just, movie, shark, smaller, wish, wishing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Making waves on Discord:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Breaking via X:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

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Activity Log ✨

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Coffee is better when you have no work.

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

A murder on the dance floor would explain the panic! at the disco.

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

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If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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