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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Live now on Discord:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Going viral on Facebook:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Seen just now on Threads:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Spotted on YouTube:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Remember, a conversation is like a game of hot potato – you don't want to be the one left holding the spud for too long! 🥔 Let's give others a chance to shine in the spotlight, before we start auditioning for the role of the one-person show! 🎭💬"

communication, conversation, humor, listening, minutes, skills, social, social skills, someone, straight, talking, turn

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Discord this month:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

56 shares on Messenger this month:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

78 shares on Discord this month:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Thoughts & prayers to all of us back at work tomorrow after the colossal mistake of thinking we’d be lads of leisure forever, for some reason.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Making waves on Discord:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Going viral on Telegram:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Making waves on X:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Just shared via Threads:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Trending via Discord:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

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