Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.
  • You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
  • When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.
  • Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.
  • The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.
  • I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.