Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.
  • They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?
  • Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.
  • Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?
  • I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.
  • I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.