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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Going viral on Facebook:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Spotted on Instagram:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Going viral on X:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Witty quote about the struggle between ambition and sleepiness, humorous and relatable.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic internal struggle between ambition and desire for a nap 😴💭. It's like having a go-getter and a sloth living inside the same body! 🤷‍♂️ #TheStruggleIsReal"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on WeChat this month:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

37 shares on Threads this month:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

83 shares on X this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

63 shares on Twitch this month:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

70 shares on Discord this month:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Just landed via Reddit:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Just landed via Telegram:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Just landed via YouTube:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Just landed via X:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

Shared recently on Discord:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Going bananas on Instagram:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

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